To Love a Rose: An Ethiopian Adoption Journal

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy (?) Mother's Day

There is probably no day on the calendar that is more bittersweet for infertile women than Mother's Day...

Tomorrow, May 8th, is Mother's Day here in America...a celebration of mothers and all of the good that they can represent - kindness, tenderness, selfless love, devotion.  We all have mothers (even if we don't know our biological ones, we have them, and probably have adopted mothers or female figures who seem like mothers); and we should all honor and uplift them whenever possible.  So, on one hand, tomorrow is a good day.  A day to celebrate where we came from, someone who loved us, and a person who (literally) gave us life.

On the other hand, there is the blatant reminder that, as an infertile woman, you are not being honored.  There's no one to love and dote upon; so there's no one to be grateful and say  thanks.  There are no cards.  No balloons.  No luncheons.  No flowers.  All of these are replaced with teary eyes, a sunken heart, and a throat clenched to stifle sobs that threaten to burst forth at every little smile and hug and kiss going on around you.

Church is the worst.  There is always a sermon about motherhood and how it is ordained by God.  How mothers are both blessed and blessings.  How God loves mothers; and, of course, how his own mother, Mary, was the most blessed mother of all.

This always makes me feel as though God has left me out.  How God has somehow forgotten about me.  If he loves mothers and motherhood, then why doesn't he answer my prayers to join that great sorority?

Now, in reality I know God hasn't forgotten me, but on Mother's Day it's just hard.  There's no other way to say it.  It's just hard.

This year I'm lucky, because our niece is graduating high school on Tuesday; so, tomorrow her mom is throwing an open house.  We'll go right after church; so, I'll have a gathering to go to that isn't centered on motherhood, or my lack thereof.

To all of you mothers out there, I wish you a very happy Mother's Day full of love, laughter, fun, family, and friends!

To all of you not-yet-mothers out there....BIG (((HUGS))) to you!  I'm praying that next year will be different for all of us.

Flowers and Rainbows,


  1. This article gives the light in which we can observe the reality. This is very nice one and gives in depth information. Thanks for this nice article.
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  2. Mother's Day is the day we celebrate our mothers, all they do for us and all they mean to us. It is an opportunity to give thanks to mom for being mom.