Cycle Day 1 or Square One (Again)

I'm drinking one of these right now:

Shock Top Belgian White.

Because, yes, that's right...I'm not pregnant.  Our 3rd medicated cycle has officially "failed" - AF showed up today in full-force.  She's been kind, though...I was shaky and twitchy again yesterday as she prepared to show up (I had to spend most of the day lying down in bed to fight the severe dizzy spells and non-stop muscle twitches); but when she came today I felt fine - no real pains or cramps or anything.  I am grateful.

Everyone's been asking me what our plan will be for this pivotal next cycle.  Honestly, I'm not entirely for sure; because I haven't had my baseline u/s (ultrasound) yet (that should be on Monday morning) to make sure I have no leftover cysts and to talk over the new "game plan" with Dr. S.

At the beginning of last cycle, Dr. S told Mr. C and I that if we weren't pg by this cycle that we were moving on from Clomid (which dried up my CM and trashed my endo lining) to something else that caused less Estrogen interference.  I'm assuming I'll move on to Femara.  Many women who had issues with Clomid respond quite well to Femara; so, I'm excited about that.  I'm also assuming that since we used the Bravelle sub-Q shots last cycle, we'll use them again this cycle to beef up a few follies.  Then, I'm sure we'll trigger again with Ovidrel (it seems to be working pretty well for me); although, he might choose to put me on Novarel or Pregnyl instead, I have no clue. 

We've also decided we're ready for IUI.  We're sick of waiting for this dream to become a reality, and we want to do anything and everything we can (within reason) to make it happen NOW.  So, when we meet with Dr. S on Monday, we're going to ask about jumping from TI (timed intercourse) to IUI.  We have no MF (male-factor) infertility issues, but we've found some good research that supports that even without MF IF, IUI can significantly increase your chances of conceiving.

Honestly, I'm feeling pretty good today; no tears today - seriously.  My band The Beautifully Broken is going to start performing again this summer after a two year hiatus due to my youngest sister and band-mate's health issues (to read more about this click here ) - something I've looked forward to for a loooong while - I live for the stage!  We're also gearing up to write our next album; a dream we've wanted to see through since we finished our first album back in 2009.  I've also fully committed to two writing projects on my own - one is a graphic novel series in the sci-fi/fantasy/action genre(s) and the other is a children's novel series that follows the adventures of some really amazing kids.  I have things to keep me busy, and thank GOD; because if not, I think I'd lose my mind.  For real.

Still, I continue to be plagued by my fears about IF; but I'm trying to be stronger than any fears and struggles.  All I can do is lean on God and Mr. C.  There is a plan, I just know it.  I can feel it in my bones.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I am beginning to feel its warmth.

Basking,
*mandie*