To Love a Rose: An Ethiopian Adoption Journal

Monday, January 31, 2011

Lumpity Bumps and Hyperventilating Over Hypodermics!

I have much to update you on, young Padawan!  Haha!

Mr. C and I just got home late last night after spending 9 days in Iowa visiting my parents.  Our initial reason for the visit was to help them out with their company (which has been CRAZY busy lately) and for me to help my middle sister, M, and my mom, K, reorganize and redecorate mom's sewing/craft room in the attic (a Christmas gift from my sisters and myself to my mother).  Unfortunately, it turned out to be much more than that.

A few weeks ago, M had come over to my house to say that she was concerned; because she had found a lump in her right breast.  She had checked and rechecked over the course of several days and in several different positions (lying down, in the shower, having her husband do a double-check); but sure enough, it was there.  She was getting concerned, especially since it was becoming painful to the touch - even having a bra on was uncomfortable.

We have a long history of breast cancer and fibroids in breast tissue on our dad's side of the family, the worst of which being our aunt (dad's oldest sibling) who died after spending over a decade fighting breast cancer.  Needless to say, I didn't think this was something M should mickey around with!

She and her husband, C, were already in Iowa helping out our parents; so, by the time Mr. C and I got there, M was already on her way to the doctor's office to see about her lump.  Sure enough, he was concerned.  (Did I mention M is only 25 years old?  Yeah, no bueno!)  He told her it was probably not cancer, but that it must come out so that it does not become cancer one day.  She wasn't happy about it, but knew he was right.  Within 48 hours M had her consultation with her surgeon, Dr. O, and had her surgery scheduled for the very next morning (yikes!).  She was nervous, but I think it was better that she got it over quickly rather having to wait around a week or so and fret about it all.

On Wednesday, the 26th M went in for her surgery to have the lump removed from her breast and the tumor biopsied.  Mom and M's hubby C went with her.  She got in early and the surgery only took about 45 minutes.  She even came out of recovery quickly (something we're not used to with her, because she doesn't normally do well with anesthesia, but this time they were prepared and gave her anti-nausea meds, etc. to ease her back to normalcy).

The next day in the early afternoon, while M was sleeping she got the phone call that the biopsy had come back NEGATIVE for any kind of cancer or pre-cancer!  Thank you, GOD!  The doctors all agreed that if she had left the tumor it would have been a perfect breeding ground for cancer in the future; so, we were all grateful that it was removed safely and that M is healthy!  Mr. C and I had to leave yesterday afternoon to head back to Missouri, but when we left M was feeling much better.  *thumbs up*

So, that's it for the "lumpity bumps"; now on to me..."hyperventilating over hypodermics"...ugh!

The main reason Mr. C and I had to leave Iowa was to get back in time for my follicle study with our fertility doctor, Dr. S today.  We were hoping and praying that our first round of Clomid and Estradiol were working!  D, the ultrasound technician who knows us by name now, said that two of my follicles were sized around 10 and 12, respectively; but that one in my right ovary was sized 14!  A good size for a healthy, ovulated egg/follicle should be anywhere from 18-24.  So, "Miss McFatty Follicle" on the right was close, but not quite.  Bummer!

We went back to talk to Dr. S, and he felt that we should try our hardest to get to ovulation this cycle (reminder: he thinks I may not have ovulated for at least 2 years, if EVER in my whole life! *Gulp!*).  So, starting tonight I will give myself FSH (follicle stimulating hormone, much like what Clomid is) injections (yes!  with a NEEDLE! me, the person who nearly faints at the site of needles to begin with!) in my stomach for three nights in a row, after which I go back in for another follicle study with Dr. S's assistant, nurse practitioner L (since Dr. S will be gone that day).  If the FSH "fertilizer" (haha!) works, then I will receive another shot that day (Thursday the 3rd), that will "trigger" ovulation to occur; then Mr. C and I have to get busy.  *cough cough*

To say that I'm nervous would be the biggest understatement of my life.  I'm horrified of needles, and I am dreading giving myself shots; but if this is what it takes, then this is what it takes, I guess.  *le sigh*  I was really hoping that we could make it happen without having to do this; but if this is all it takes and we don't have to do IVF or even the much less invasive IUI, then heck, I'll take it!

We recently totaled up all of the expenses we've paid thus far for fertility treatments and were shocked to see that with everything (meds and ultrasounds included) that we're still not even close to the amount we would have paid for just the home study for the adoption.  Something's gotta give, folks!  There are children out there who need forever homes, they need to be adopted and loved; and people like Mr. C and I are more than willing to adopt one or more of them, but cannot afford to do so...  It is a travesty.  Nobody suffers but the children - the most important people in the whole scenario.  I could go on  and on about this, but that is for another blog altogether, I'm afraid.

So, although this seems really odd to say or even think about, Mr. C and I could very possibly conceive a baby by this Friday.  W-O-W.  It almost doesn't even seem real to me, but it's happening.  I'm super excited, but I have to admit that the closer we get to pregnancy being a reality, the more anxious I become about things that are beyond my control: the overall health of the baby, the probability of a Clomid-induced pregnancy "sticking" and making it to 9 months, labor and delivery with half of my cervix gone after surgery, etc.  I know that there is nothing I can do about any of these things and that I need to leave them to God (after all, he's taken care of us thus far, right?), but I can't help but be a nervous wreck right now.  I need prayers for peace! :-)

On a much less nausea-inspiring note, Mr. C and I decided that the yellow baby nursery will be decorated in yellow, black, and white now, after being inspired by some truly fantastic nurseries of the same color scheme recently.  I look forward to starting in on the nursery...even if we don't get pregnant right away, it will be really fun to get started.  (Don't worry, I plan on documenting the whole process here on the TLAR for your viewing pleasure; well, or NOT - I mean, you may hate it!  Haha!)

Well, kids, that's all she wrote - I'm off to do a workout (blech! BUT much needed, trust!).  I hope you're having a lovely day in your part of the world.  We're hunkered down waiting for what the weather man is predicting will be one of the "worst winter storms to hit our area in 10 years" - hooray.  *sarcasmsarcasmsarcasmgalore*  So, stay warm and safe, my friends!  Maybe next time I write I'll have some very GOOD news to share with you!!!!



  1. Some advice from your 9-month-older self:

    Never be this stupidly naive ever again!

    That is all.

  2. Some advice from your 9-month-older self:

    Never be this stupidly naive ever again!

    That is all.

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