To Love a Rose: An Ethiopian Adoption Journal

Sunday, July 17, 2011


That's right, not one, but TWO positive OPKS (last night and this morning)!

I broke down again and bought a big pack of 40 of these: Wondfo Combo 40 Ovulation Tests and 10 Early Pregnancy Tests Strips,.  I honestly wasn't even going to use them until CD 15 or so, since without meds my track record for ovulation is usually no earlier than the range of CD 16-25.  Buuuuuut, I was having loads of EWCM, which made me suspect something was up; so, I took an OPK last night around 10:30 p.m. (only CD 12!) and it was about 99% positive (OPK on top in above picture).  I seriously did a little dance! :-)

This morning around 8 a.m. I took the OPK below, and there was no doubt that it was positive.  So exciting!  I'm on track to ovulate sometime tonight or tomorrow (CD 14).  If so, I am going to have my first, all-natural, "NORMAL" cycle - as in ovulating on day 14, and 28 days total!  Hooray!  I realize that most women do not get this excited about their menstrual cycles; but seriously, this is brilliant!

I've been MUCH more militant with my diet this cycle.  MUCH more!  I have restricted my carb intake to practically nothing, and I'm not making little exceptions for myself here or there when it comes to sugar - it's not allowed at all - neither is alcohol, not even a sip!  And really, there's no need for any of it anyway; it just makes me feel like crap in the end.  I've also been exercising for at least 45 minutes a day - all strenuous cardio.  I've missed a day or two here and there, but mostly I've been extremely diligent to keep up my "homework".

Also, I recently had a reevaluation with Dr. L concerning my acupuncture.  When I first had this done, I was pretty good.  I was at an overall energy level of 82 (anything above 70 is considered excellent), and I had three meridians that were either low, high, of just out of balance from left to right spheres.  This time, my overall energy was at 86 (woo, moving on up!); and I had only one area that was low (the spleen, of course: the meridian that affects reproduction and menstrual cycles *le sigh*).  Everything else was in perfect range and in balance.  It's amazing that all of this has occurred in just 5 short weeks.  Amazing!  So, for the past week I've been wearing three tacks in my stomach and four in my feet/legs to stimulate the spleen meridian - must be working since I'm getting such great results!

Earlier this week, I began writing my children's book series.  I can't say anything about it, really; but it's going to be so much fun!  I'm really looking forward to traveling along with these characters for a while.  Today, I put up my inspiration boards around my desk area in the office I share with Mr. C...everything is looking so incredible.  It really helps me to have a visual in front of my face while I'm typing:

Early tomorrow morning, I have a last-minute acupuncture appointment with Dr. L before Mr. C and I hit the road to head up north for some band rehearsals.  I'm really looking forward to this hometown show in September.  I think it's the first step to the band moving forward again; which is something I've looked forward to for a long, long while.

On a more sobering note, I have been humbled this past week by the passing of two boys that I had been praying for.  One was more of a young man than "boy".  His name was Wes, and his family (in particular one of his sisters) had been very encouraging to my own sister, W, in her struggle with epilepsy.  Wes was also epileptic, but that was the least of his worries.  At only 22, he had brain cancer that had spread to his spine and eventually confined him to a wheelchair.  Even through it all, he always seemed to be smiling and praising Jesus.  I was blessed enough to watch him get up out of his wheelchair and walk during a faith conference at my parents' and sister's church a few weeks ago.  I don't think there was a dry eye in the house as Wes got up from his chair and actually WALKED, without help, the entire length of the front altar.

The second boy to pass was also not truly a "boy", but not because he was perhaps a little too old for the title; alas, he was far too young.  Little James was only 6 months old when he passed away yesterday afternoon from a brain tumor.  I have been weepy off-and-on these past few days just thinking about these beloved children of Jesus and their short times here on this earth.  It all seems so unfair.  I think that is the thing that haunts me the most when it comes to being a Christian.  I just do not comprehend why some people receive their healing, their miracle, while others do not...they go on to be with God.  I wish I could somehow wrap my mind around this, but I just can't.  It literally plagues me some days to think about it.  At the moment, my heart is going out to the families of these two brave, young children of God...I know they were greatly loved and will be greatly missed.

Wow, every time I think of those boys I cry!  :-(  Okay, I promise I won't leave you with a bucket-full of tears I wrap up this post, I will leave you with an adorable photo of our Scottie, Eagan Fitzgerald - the furry love of my life!

Adorable as usual!  Look at that huge, rubber nose - so cute!

I hope you are well and blessed and inspired and creating and happy in your heart wherever you are in the world; for you are greatly loved, my friends!  You are so greatly loved!  (John 3:16)

Mucho Big Hugs,


  1. Hi Mandie!!
    I wrote to you yesterday as "Anonymous"and I was really having a bad day. Your blog has been helping me a lot lately and when I read it, I can't help but to think "Oh my goodness - she thinks EXACTLY like me" (Or vis-versa, I'm not particular)
    I too have many questions about healing and why God doesn't or does do things. I know I'm having a very difficult time with this journey, and I just can't believe I'm here - I am used to being in control - that is, when I wanted something, I found a way to get it...but that wasn't true with marriage - as God made me wait until I was 39 to get married. It's not like I wasn't praying, I was just having really bad luck and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.
    And here I am AGAIN! Apparently - I didn't learn that lesson the first time.
    I just looked at your bio, and you and I are very much alike in so many ways. I'm a musician (flute) although I don't play much anymore, I'm an artist and designer, and I love to create.
    Hope we will be very good friends when we join God in the meantime, I will continue to read, as I too am trying to remind God everyday of his promises, tho most of the time I find myself pretty angry. As you know, it's hard to sit and listen to everyone else talk about their kids and realize how little you have in common with so many of them.
    Your age is a blessing, at my age - we cannot adopt, and now with being unemployed, we can't do donor eggs, either (and they have a better than 60% success rate at the clinic I was at) It's just heartbreaking to have so many doors slam shut on you all the time.
    I don't know - maybe God just wants me to trust that he's going to do this...I was the one who got the message from a lady of great faith that I had known so many years ago! She was so certain of this message that she was intent on telling it to my mother when she saw her at church, and then realized that she needed to tell me directly and then said that God would bring us together at the right time. It still scares me to believe it and I have her number, I should call her - but I am often afraid that I didn't hear it correctly or something will change. Yeah, it's a difficult road to trudge.
    I'm really glad you're here...
    and Baby Dust!

  2. Hi Laura!

    I am so incredibly sorry for all of the pain and hurt you've been going through lately.

    I know exactly how you feel and what you're going through. At the moment, though, I feel as though I'm on the "other side" in a sense; because of the adoption. (I would like to interject quickly too, that you mentioned that you could not adopt due to your age, but our agency, Holt International, does not discriminate unless you are older than 55 years of age. It might be a good possibility for you!)

    I think I had to "walk through fire" to slough off some things in order to come out the other side closer to the person God always wanted me to be. But trust me, I know what it's like to be in the depths of sorrow, crying out to God, "Why aren't you showing up?! Where are you?! Why aren't you answering my prayers?!"

    All I can say is that God DOES answer our prayers, just not always in the way or time that we would like or that we would expect. I used to think that meant God was just doling out consolation prizes; but the closer I get to becoming a mom through adoption, the more I realize how ignorant that thought process is. Just because something doesn't happen when and how you like doesn't mean that God doesn't have a plan for your happiness all along. I know he does!

    I know there's a plan for you, Laura! :-) Hang in there, girl! He loves you so much and wants you to be happy. Stay in touch!

    Hugs and Many Blessings to You,