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| One of Vince's friends made this lovely tribute to him using his "Strong Arm" photo - just beautiful! |
Tonight was our friend Vince Guereca's wake. We couldn't be there; so, we streamed it online through his churches website. Ever since Vince passed last Thursday, I've been sad; but I had no idea I would break down so much tonight. My whole body was shaking; I just could not contain the sadness any longer.
Knowing that I couldn't be there, I prepared a written word to be read at the wake tonight. It was completely surreal watching someone else read my words through the video screen. My dad wrote something too, and it was beautiful. So many people got up to share stories of how Vince had impacted their lives; it was a wonderful testimony of Vince's work for God here on Earth.
Vince was such a wonderful person. It's so hard to reconcile the outcome of his battle with cancer in my heart and mind; but I know that there are many things I will not be privy to in this lifetime.
One thing I forgot to put in my speech about Vince was something that happened one Sunday when he was particularly not feeling well. I remember he asked me, Mr. C, and our friend Neil (also a stem cell patient who just successfully underwent his
third transplant - AMEN!) to go down to the little chapel just down the hall from the stem cell out-patient clinic to go to a service with him. The
CTCA has chaplains and pastors who will put on mini-services every Sunday for those of us stuck in the hospital and unable to attend at our home churches, etc.
Of course, we went with him. He was hooked up to a bunch of tubes, getting some sort of infusion; and honestly, he was looking thin and tired. When we got to the service, we sat in the back, as we were the last people in; and naturally, the pastor asked us to introduce ourselves and say if we had any prayer requests.
Stupidly, I acted like an idiot, barely talking and barely even remembering to mention my mother who was upstairs in the stem cell in-patient ward at the time. I don't know why I was acting so thoughtless, it's not like me to be tongue-tied in any way; but I was, and I felt like a fool.
Vince was just sitting a few chairs away from me; so when it was his turn to speak, he stood up and introduced himself. The only prayer request he had was that everyone please pray for Mr. C and my adoption of Desmond - that it go smoothly and that we receive all the funding that we need.
Needless to say, I was humbled to the point that I wished I could literally crawl under a chair like a shy, little kid!
Here is a man fighting for his very life, and instead of asking for people to pray for him, he asked only that they pray for US! That is something I will just never forget.
That is just a tiny portrait of what Vince's heart was like. It was beautiful and selfless, and so full of love for people and his Abba God. I was so blessed to have known him, and I look forward to hearing all of the amazing things he has to tell me when I get to see my brother again one day in Heaven.
Here is what I wrote that was read at his wake this evening...such a sad attempt at capturing the beautiful human being I got to know these past 5 months:
May 7th, 2012
(To be read at Vince Guereca’s celebration of life. New Life
Church, Chicago, IL)
To
Silvia, Julie, Priscilla, Elliot, and Jesse:
My
heart is aching for you all right now.
It has been for days. I keep
trying to think of just the right thing to say, the right thing to
write…nothing seems adequate. But here
is my attempt at trying:
I met Vince Guereca on a
battlefield – the stem cell unit of the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Zion, IL
where my mom was and still is undergoing treatment for stage 4 acute
lymphoblastic leukemia. As in many
battles, you seem to quickly bond with those in the trenches alongside you –
your brothers in arms – and my entire family got to know and love Vince and
Silvia both.
It was very easy to love Vince –
with his big, bright smile and readiness to listen, he was an instant friend to
my family and my mom especially. They
would often encourage each other with Bible verses and stories about life and
what God had already done for them both – so many miracles.
Yes, it IS a cancer center; but it
wasn’t all dreary and dull. We had good days too - an afternoon playing
Apples to Apples (Silvia won, of course J) or the day we got
Vince to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken (no mere feat considering how much his
appetite had waned at that time in his treatment).
But my favorite times were when
Vince would talk about Jesus. He had
such a HUGE heart for our Abba God, and he wanted everyone to KNOW how much
Christ loved his children. I can
honestly say I doubt I’ve met anyone as willing to be bold for Christ in a
real-life sense as Vince; and I hope I can be more like him in that respect
each and every day.
When Vince talked about Jesus his
whole face lit up, and when you seemed to “get” what he was trying to tell you
about God, he broke out into that famous big grin of his - the only other time
I saw his face shine that bright was when he spoke of his beloved wife, Silvia,
or his four kids.
He once told me that if his journey
with cancer ended with him in Heaven, it wouldn’t matter how miraculous it all
was around him, he would be waiting for Silvia to join him so that he could
enjoy it all with his sweetheart. While
I’m sure Vince actually really IS enjoying himself in Heaven at this very
moment, it was still touching to me to hear him speak this way and how full of
love he obviously was for his wife.
Vince also praised his children
often during the hours spent getting infusions and treatments in the stem cell
clinic. He was beyond thrilled to be a
dad, and he would say over and over how he knew God had amazing plans for each
one of his kids. He couldn’t wait to see
what they were going to become, because he already knew each one was such a
wonderful human being who loved Jesus…”everything else is just a bonus”, he
told me.
Toward the end of Vince’s battle,
he and I would talk about F.F. Bosworth’s book Christ the Healer a lot; and maybe it is particularly because of
those conversations that Vince’s passing has been so especially difficult for
me. For the first couple of days, I just
could not understand how our loving Christ Jesus, who so obviously wants to
heal his children, would not heal Vince.
Why he would let this disease “win”.
I was praying and praying for some sort of understanding…some sort of peace;
but I felt as though God was not answering my prayers. It was not until last night while I was once
again trying to figure out what to write here that God spoke to me.
Often, when God talks to me
personally, it is a mere word or phrase; and I feel like He then leaves it up
to me to discover the significance for my life and circumstances. Perhaps this is because my Abba knows me
better than anyone and knows how much I like a good mystery (haha!); but
deep-down I’m sure it’s because He wants me to grow and learn.
Last night, the only word I
received from Heaven was this:
“INVINCIBLE”
One word. Very simple.
But I was angered by this word – invincible?! Really, God?!
Vince is no longer with us, and you give me the word “invincible” as my
answer as to why? I was bewildered.
But as I said, God knows me better
than anyone…
I began to twist the word around
and around in my head. You see, I love
languages; and in college, I got to study several, including many years delving
into Latin.
“Invincible” just so happens to be
rooted in Latin. Its core stems from the
Latin verb “vincere” or “to conquer or vanquish”. Putting “ible” at the end of a verb denotes
ability – in this case the “ability to be conquered”. And lastly, prefixing a word with “in”
negates whatever is to come, making this not so much a mere word, but a bold
statement:
ONE WHO CANNOT BE CONQUERED.
Take also into account the fact
that Vince’s name (or at least the sound) is right smack in the middle of this
word, and it all became clear to me. Vince was not conquered. He was not vanquished. He did NOT lose.
“No,
in all these things we are more than
conquerors through Him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death
nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor
any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in ALL CREATION will be
able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
Yes, it may seem to the world that
he did lose. It may seem that Satan won;
that the disease won…but that is the glorious thing about Christ’s never-ending
love and mercy – we get to live forever with him, no matter what our
circumstances here on Earth may have been.
Vince is “more than a conqueror”
through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross at Calvary. Vince is in Heaven – totally restored,
totally whole, totally healthy! AMEN!
So, HAHA, cancer!
HAHA, Satan!
YOU are the losers! YOU are the vanquished ones!
Yes, we will all miss Vince while
we live out the remainder of our days here on Earth, that is a sad truth; BUT
we can live on with the constant reassurance that we will be reunited with him
again for all eternity.
I am so glad that we all serve a
SAVIOR who never closes a door without opening a window. I am so glad that Christ Jesus loves us lowly
humans enough to always gift us HOPE. I
am so glad that when we ask for grace and mercy and peace, it is given to
us. And I am so glad that God allowed me
to know my brother, Vince Guereca, even if only for a short while here on
Earth; and I look forward to seeing him again in Heaven – he will have so much
to tell me (and all of us), I’m sure!
So, that is how I will remember invincible
Vince Guereca: “he who cannot be conquered”. And to those of you who may be listening to
these words, I am praying for Christ’s love to overwhelm you with peace and
warmth at this time and always, especially Silvia, Julie, Priscilla, Elliot,
and Jesse and all of Vince’s family and friends…
All the Love in the World to You –
Blessings,
*mandie*
PS: Vincent means "conquering"...he was born to be a winner! RIP, my friend.
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