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Photo courtesy of The Berry |
It's true...I have fallen for a waiting child. I think I'm in love with this little dude.
And while most people would be giddy with delight over finding a kiddo they connect with...I'm worried. Worried we'll get denied, turned away - and one day soon I'll see a big "I have a family!" posted happily across his sweet photo-listing picture; and I'll have a hole in my heart.
What's the big deal? Well, this little guy is in the China program; and we have been approved for Korea. Would it be a big, giant pain-in-the-butt to switch programs? Kinda. China is a Hague country, while Korea is not. It's a whole different
In all honesty, I never thought I'd connect to a waiting child. This probably sounds terrible, but the children on the waiting child photo-listing are the ones who are usually older and have more demanding special needs. Looking through the sea of faces in the past, I always felt over-whelmed and nearly felt like hyperventilating when reading through the kiddos' medical files. But when I found little "L", I didn't feel that way at all. In fact, I burst into tears for no reason whatsoever. He just looked so precious, I couldn't help but feel an instant connection.
I have no clue what the future holds. In all reality, we are probably not eligible to adopt this boy; which is really going to break my heart in half. Even though he's not what I thought I "wanted" - special needs kiddo, already 2 years old, in the China program - I am truly drawn to him, and Mr. C is too.
If you find the time, please pray for God to guide this whole situation for us and "L". If the answer is "no"; I just want him to find the best family EVER and SOON. Also, I really need hope that we will get a referral from Korea soon; and that I'll feel the same "zing" I feel just looking at "L".
Trust me, I'm the first to realize how foolhardy this is - so much of our journey toward adoption is done and now this could throw everything for a loop. It's not the wisest, and I can't explain it; but I can't stop staring at this little boy. I'm just giving it over to God; I have to keep trusting that He does, indeed, have a perfect plan.
Dreaming/Praying/Hoping,
*mandie*
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