I remember my mom telling me once when I was a kid that when I was an adult my Christmas wish list would differ drastically from what it once was. At the time, I'm sure I couldn't imagine not coveting the latest, flashy Barbie or art set; but as I sit here in my mom's room in the stem cell unit of the Cancer Treatment Center of America for what will be the fourth week in a row, I understand completely what she meant all those years ago.
And I'm sure as you read this, that you're probably thinking that my "grown up Christmas list" is purely selfish. That I just want my mom well. That I want my sister, W, to have peace and the promise forever of no more seizures. That Mr. C and I will have all the cash we need to complete our adoption and bring Baby C home from South Korea, etc. etc. etc.
Yes, I do; but that's not even close to my biggest wish of all.
While I would NEVER wish cancer on ANYONE EVER, my wish is that everyone all over the world could feel the immense, unfailing love of God that my family has felt this past several weeks. That every one of you reading these words could see miracles in your life like we are witnessing every day. My wish is that you, whoever you are, realize how much you are God's beloved. He made you specifically YOU, because no one else but YOU can make him happy like YOU can.
You are so loved. God IS real in the world today. He DOES answer prayers. HE DOES ANSWER PRAYERS. He DOES want to heal you. He is your Jehovah Rapha. He does want to provide for you; he is your Jehovah Jirah! He does not want you to worry. He is your Jehovah Shalom.
You are perfect in his sight. He already bore your illness, your pain, your shame, your guilt, your hurt, your insecurities, your lack, your bitterness, your sadness, your loneliness, your anger...he bore it for you and cried out "IT IS FINISHED!". It is finished. It is already done. Do not let it worry you any longer.
My wish is that you will know, as we are being shown daily, that you are already on the other shore, past the fierce storm, standing with God in peace and love and prosperity and wholeness and total health. He wants perfection for you. I wish for you to know this.
Yes, there are many things I am wishing for selfishly this holiday season. Yes, it's true. But, please believe what I have written above. I wish all these things for each of you. We are so blessed. In the midst of the greatest fear, God has shown us the greatest peace and protection. In the midst of the deepest dark, he has been our constant, shining light. When we cry out, "Abba!" He has held us and comforted us like the good, daddy God he is.
It's true that my family has been through terrible struggle these past few years, but we have known mercy and compassion and love and peace and protection that is beyond comprehension. It is so sweet. How can I not shout about it from the rooftops?!
Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
All the LOVE in the World,
*mandie*
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what a beautiful post :) you really show the love of God and it is so real to you. I pray for you and your mom and all goes well with your family.
ReplyDeleteThis post hit home for me today. It brings up a lot of thoughts and deep emotions that I can't quite articulate right now.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I've nominated you for a blog award. If you're interested, you can find it on my page. :)
@M: Awww, M, thank you! I think of you and pray for you often, my friend. I don't "know" you, but I feel I KNOW you. I want you to succeed in acquiring the desires of your heart, and I know God does too. There is a plan, and I can't wait to see what it is! (((HUGS))) to you!
ReplyDelete@Heather: Thank you for your prayers! We have really felt all the prayers and good thoughts; it has made all the difference, and we are so grateful. :-)
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