Save Handmade!

http://coolmompicks.com/savehandmade/

One of my favorite blogs that I literally check every day is called Cool Mom Picks.  It's amazing what they post on this site; I'm always in awe of their abilities to be so effortlessly, well, cool!

Recently, I read their post about Congress passing the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act; which could ban the selling of our favorite homemade goodies from places like Etsy and Ebay.  Where would we be without those sites?!  A pretty sad place, my friends!

I'm not going to even try to write about it myself when the cool kids at CMP have already done such a great job; so, I'll just give you the link, and you can check it out yourself.

Spread the word!  We need to stop this act from ruining my ability to shop at my favorite online stores - haha!

*mandie*

Closing the Door...

Still no word on my labs from Dr. S's office yet, but Mr. C and I did receive sad news today...

Our file at Gladney is being officially closed today. 

I know that we can no longer go down the Ethiopia path or adopt at this very moment, but I am still extremely heart-broken over the loss of this adoption.  I was so convinced that God was leading me down this road, and that we were finally going to get to be parents.  I was so excited!  It honestly feels as though I've lost a child...I have been dreaming of this brown-skinned baby for over a year. 

I have a room painted yellow for a boy or girl...I have a stroller and three boxes of diapers...I have some decorations...I had all of these dreams about what we would do, what I would read to Baby C and how I would play with him/her.  It's all gone now.

I realize that we could get pregnant soon, but maybe we won't.  Maybe not ever, like we've always suspected, and these past years have taught us.  I really couldn't care less how I become a mother; I will love my child whether born from my womb or from my heart...I would just like to somehow be able to move forward in some direction.

There is really nothing to be said today...only that I am feeling pretty sad.  I've been trying really hard to keep my spirits up, because I know that God has a plan; but sometimes I think it's okay to just be human and wallow in the tough feelings of loss and rejection...

After all, even Jesus was a Man of Sorrows.

*mandie*

My "Fault"

I got a call this morning around 10 a.m. from our fertility clinic.  Dr. S's nurse said that Mr. C's "little swimmer" analysis came back, and they just wanted us to know that everything looked really "good" and "normal".

"Great," was all I could think. "So, all of this is my fault then."

I know in reality there is no such thing as someone being "at fault" when it comes to fertility.  I eat right, exercise, take vitamins daily, always go to my yearly exams, and try to be a good person and follow Christ as best as a lowly human can - what else could I have done?  Nothing, of course; but it's still hard at times to not feel like I'm being punished for something somehow.

Since W was diagnosed with catamenial epilepsy, she's been doing lots of research on the effects of low progesterone, most all of my health concerns were on the lists of symptoms she found on several medical sites, including cervical displaysia and cancer, miscarriages, infertility, irregular periods, and extremely painful PMS symptoms.  I am hoping that my answer is a simple one like low progesterone that can be "fixed" with creams and/or pills.  I would be so grateful to at least have that under control, whether or not it leads to pregnancy.

Hopefully I'll have more answers tomorrow.  Dr. S's nurse said she thought she'd have the rest of my labs today, but since I never heard back I can only assume that they didn't get there before they closed.  Darn!  Guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow!

*Patience is the most difficult virtue for me to try to master.*

*mandie*

Prayer Request

Not for me, but a family member...

After suffering years of infertility and infertility-related health issues, A and her hubby adopted an adorable little girl.  The years passed, and both A and her hubby longed for another child - a brother or sister for their little girl.

Well, they got their wish a few months ago.  A family friend of theirs called to say she was four months pregnant and wanted to make an adoption plan for her baby.  They were ecstatic, of course, and accepted.  She called again on December 19th to say that the baby girl was for sure theirs if they wanted.  It was happening!

On December 24th, the baby girl was born and although she's doing well, she is in the NICU.  That, however, is the least of A and her husband's problems...the birth mom has been virtually MIA.  She met with A and her hubby's lawyers, and called to say that all went well; but there has been no communication between the lawyers and A and her husband yet; which is seeming suspicious.

Please pray that God's will and best comes out of this situation for A and her hubby.  I cannot imagine actually getting to the point where you've held a baby and taken them into your heart only to suffer the heartbreak of possibly having the hope of having that child in your life taken from you.  I know that sometimes doors close so that you can open the one that you're really supposed to open; but I just can't believe that God would put A and her family through such heartache, and at the beginning of a brand new, fresh year too!

I am praying for clarity and wisdom for all parties, for peace for the birth mother, and for love and peace to envelope A and her whole family as they await the answers.

Thank you for keeping them in your prayers and good thoughts - everything helps!

Have a Blessed Day,
*mandie*

New Year, New Bloodwork

Well, 2011 is in full swing, and to "celebrate" Mr. C and I officially started our fertility work-ups today.  Woo hoo?

Mr. C had his "little swimmers" analyzed today (I think I was more embarrassed about this than he was!); and I had several vials of blood drawn to check for all sorts of hormone, adrenal, and thyroid issues that are known to cause or add to infertility issues.

Dr. S says we should get answers within about 24 hours - wowza!  I just hope that there is an answer or answers in these easy solutions.  Otherwise, it's on to the big stuff like surgery to find out if I do, in fact, have endometriosis (which I REALLY don't want to have to go through)!

The weirdest thing of all was while we were checking Mr. C in at the lab where his "swimmers" were being checked out, the lady behind the counter who was African American started talking about how hard it can be to get pregnant.  Then she was going on and on about how she and her husband know that they're going to adopt one day through the bi-racial program through foster care; so, I told her our position and how we desperately still want to adopt. 

She gave us some names of some people in Springfield who are involved in helping to place bi-racial children in their forever homes here in Missouri.  We were so exited, because this is EXACTLY where we feel God is leading us on our path toward adoption!  I am convinced that we will be parents to a bi-racial child someday (maybe sooner, maybe later, but it WILL happen).  She was so uplifting and positive.  God knows when you need a boost, and he brought one in this super nice lady!

Next time I write, I should have some answers FINALLY!  We're so excited to learn some TRUTH!  Hooray!

XOXO,
*mandie*